Making a Difference Work For You

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys

With tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

Because He was my Friend.

But instead of leaving Him

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How can You be so slow?"

"My child," He said, "what could I do?

You never let them go."

-author unknown

Little did we know that our worries and doubts after asking for help from someone may only hindered and slowed down its progress to perhaps a grinding halt.

Until next time....

Krista McKay

Dancing with Yourself

Thought of the Month:

"Every life has its dark and cheerful hours. Happiness comes from choosing which to remember." -author unknown

Hello Everyone,

We live two lives, the one we learn from and the life we live after that. So how do we know when one stops and the other life begins? Take a look inside of yourself, how are you feeling right now? What are some of the thoughts that are going through your head about your life? Do you find yourself unknowningly or knowingly searching for that missing piece to fill the void? If you feel like there is a missing piece, yet you don't know what it is, then you are searching for 'something more', you are searching for yourself.

This feeling can exist despite our blessings in our life. We become so busy and get so caught up in being the martyr of one's measurement of who we should be in society, that we lose sight of who we really are. It often gives rise as a sadness and/or longing we cannot name, that we keep well buried and hidden from anothers view. This sadness, however, is often the result once we disconnect from our authentic self.

So how do we get back to our authentic self? Easy, by taking a 'leap of faith', by 'romancing the soul' through listening to our heart's desires. As I began to romance my soul, I noticed that my soul was so far buried under pain, hurt and other people's beliefs and expectations that I first let go of what I used to believe that came from teachings from my past, especially my parents, in order to reach my true self. It means letting go of the past, the childhood traumas, and accepting the learning's from our life lessons that come from the good, the bad and the ugly of our past. Your authentic self comes from a place of love and wants only the best for you. Our authentic self will challenge us, and ask us to step out of our comfort zone and trust it. When we begin to romance our soul, and honour our authentic self, using the wisdom and learning's from the first part of our life, we begin living the life after that.

Just imagine it as 'dancing with yourself', because until you understand how you dance, others will not know how to dance with you without stepping on your toes. The best way to get a smooth and flowing dance with yourself and another is to be clear and exact, and that takes studying your dance. It means knowing you first, your likes and dislikes, being grounded, establishing boundaries that work for you, and sticking to them. Not only will you create a beautiful dance with yourself for others to follow, but a trust will arise from the consistency of 'your dance.'

So who are you? What is that nagging feeling inside? What is that nagging feeling pushing or pulling you to do right now? Is it telling you to register for a class? Is it wanting you to read a certain book, or take some time for you? Is it telling you to take a vacation? Is it telling you to seek professional assistance? Is it telling you to go for a walk, or get a new job? Listening and acting upon your continuous nagging push or pull to do something is romancing your soul, it is often your authentic self. Sometimes, we don't always understand why or how this something will make any difference in our life until we do it. Regardless, only until you begin listening, honoring and fulfilling the wishes of your higher self, your authentic self, will you begin to find true happiness.

Until next time.....
Krista McKay

Hug Therapy - A Mutually Healing Process

Thought for this week:

A hug is like a boomerang -- you get it back right away. - Bil Keane



Hello Everyone,

A really cool little book found its' way into my hands last week and well.... of course, the excitement was more than I could bear, so here I am sharing....Yes, the littliest and simpliest things in life can awaken and wind me and my inner child up! So what's the book....it's called The Hug Therapy Book by Kathleen Keating.

When I picked this book up, I knew it was going home with me. Hugging has played an important part in my journey of self-discovery. I came from a non-huggie family, so as I grew up and entered adulthood, giving and receiving hugs felt very strange and unfamiliar at first. I had an amazing success coach that change all of that for me. From the first appointment, she always gave me a hug before I left. I thought it was a bit strange at first and I was very uneasy with it, however, her gentle and kind nature began to break down my barriers, until I began to look forward to her hugs, and its' feelings of value it evoked inside of me. Now, we are great friends and I expect my hug wherever and whenever I see her with open arms!

I know life is busy and sometimes we forget to just breath and take in the moment. As well, we all have our own personal boundaries we want respected, however, hugs do have many benefits that I will list below, and there are different types of hugs for different situations. The wonderful part of hugs....they are a free and easy way to good health and happiness.

When you hug, "....you are open to the child within you who needs love, safety, support, caring and play, and you are reaching out to the same needs in the other." -Kathleen Keating

So, if the feeling is there to express yourself through a hug....just ask if you are not sure what to do, and the same if you need one....I've been asked before by individuals I have just met and it felt great. It actually made my day. I never turn down a warm hug, the benefits last a long time....I am still experiencing the benefits of my first hug from my coach.


Did you know that hugging:

Feels good
Dispels loneliness
Overcomes fears
Open doors to feelings
Builds self-esteem ("Wow, she/he actually wants to hug me!")
Fosters altruism ("I can't believe it, but I actually want to hug that old son-of-a-gun.")
Slows down aging; huggers stay younger longer
Helps curb appetite; we eat less when we are nourished by hugs

Other benefits:

Eases stress
Fights insomnia
Offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse
Affirms physical being
It is energy efficient, saves heat
Portable
Demands no special setting
Requires no special equipment
Makes your days happier
Makes impossible days become possible
Brings about feelings of belongingness
Fills up empty places in our lives
Keeps on dispensing benefits after the hug's released
Prevents war

Some Types of Hugs:

Bear hugs- bodies touch in a powerful, strong squeeze that can last 5 to 10 seconds or more, evokes feelings of warmth, support, and security.

Side-to-Side hugs- great hug to give and receive while walking along together, evokes feelings of pleasure.

Back-to-front hug- the hugger approaches the other from the back, folds arms around his/her waist and gives a gentle hug, evoking feelings of happiness and support.

Sandwich hug- a hug for three, two face each other and the third is in the middle facing either one of the other. This one is very beneficial to the person in the middle for fostering feelings of security, especially important if they are going through a tough time.

Cheek hug- stirs up feelings of kindness, especially if the participants are close friends.

Grabber-squeezer hug- one person runs up and throws their arms around another, evoking feelings of affection, and surprise if it was unexpected.

Group hug- evokes a sense of universal belonging and unity.


With much gratitude for the women and men who shared their abundance with me and others,
Until next time....
Krista McKay





Information for this post from Kathleen Keating's book, The Hug Therapy Book.

Are You a Winner?

Thought of the week:


"Worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow."

-unknown

Hello Everyone,

How many of you are winners? How many of you have winners in your life? Interesting questions worth considering as you continue reading on. Answering these questions positively can mean the difference from a fulfilling and successful life as to one full of discontent, criticism and judgement. Which life do you prefer?

If you have been following my articles, I often emphasize the need to become the change you wish to see. Those of you who are working hard to make changes in your life will experience many shifts including the people that come and go. As I talk to people about the changes occurring, I remind individuals that shifts in their personal and professional relationships are inevitable, as well.

Over the past few years, I have watched this happen in my own life, close relationships now seem distance and far away with nothing in common expect the past. Although, it can be less than easy to move on or to re-define an existing relationship with a loving and warm heart, the new people and the new relationships that lies ahead makes it all worthwhile.

When you make the deliberate decision to associate and surround yourself with quality people, you allow positive support in times of challenge, positive encouragement in times of opportunities, and uplifting praise as you challenge each other to think big. The consequences of our relationships are that we eventually begin to emulate the beliefs and behaviors of those we spend the most time with whether the beliefs and behavior are good or bad. So the moral of the story is choose well.

As Salim Khoja explains so elegantly in his article "Establish a Mastermind Group" from the Motivated magazine, "winners....lift you up, encourage you, catch you doing things right and make you feel great about yourself when life has beaten you up. They stand beside you to make you laugh and offer their shoulder when you need to cry. They lend an ear when you need to talk and give you a hug in celebration of your success. They are not jealous of your progress; they want the very best for you. They make you stronger, smarter and faster then you would be without them. Your life is blessed because of their presence in it."

So, take an inventory of five people you associate with the most and ask yourself a few sorting questions. Are they successful? Are they draining you of your vitality and zest for life? Are they supportive and positive? Are they empowering? Do you feel good about yourself when you are around them? Do you feel valued and heard in their presence?

Everything takes time, so if you think you would like to have more winners in your life remember to become the change you wish to see. And as you begin to become the change remember that everyone needs somebody just be cautious about who you choose to want.

Until next time....
Krista McKay

Take the Happiness Quiz

Hello Everyone,

Yesterday I came across this quiz and thought I would share it with you. Happiness is often on all of our minds. Although, we sometimes feel that happiness alludes us, we continue to pursue it in hopes that someday we'll find it. Our actions, thoughts and beliefs we maintain and/or create are the result from our desire to find happiness.

During the silent moments when we feel unhappy, you may wonder what is going on? You have a job, a home, reliable car, loving family/friends, but you still don't see, feel or hear the happiness around you and within you. Why?

Research has shown that happiness is not linked to external circumstances, instead it is a product of a series of internal factors. Research suggests the most happiest people are those who give and do for others as opposed to depressed individuals who tend to maintain an internal focus on themselves.

On a brighter side, we are all human and all of us have and will experience ups and downs. What is important is how we handle the ups and downs. How do we get to an overall state of mind that will support and maintain our happiness. It is possible. Take the quiz and see what you can do to increase your overall well-being.



Happiness Quiz
-by S.K. Smith


1. Even when I'm stressed beyond belief (about money, love, career or anything), I have a general sense that "everything will be alright."

a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)


2. I accept responsibility for my mistakes - and take credit when I do something good/beneficial/skillfully.

a) Yes for both (9)
b) Mistakes yes, victories/achievements… not so much (5)
c) I don't like being blamed, but sure I'll celebrate my successes! (5)
d) Neither - I like to stay under the radar (0)


3. When things go wrong, I want to…

a) Find the culprit! (0)
b) Move on… (3)
c) Come up with solutions to avoid it next time (9)


4. The best word to sum up my usual mental/emotional state is

a) Dread (0)
b) Frustration (3)
c) Curiosity/Wonder (6)
d) Peace (9)


5. I have too many priorities to focus on taking care of myself!

a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)


6. I value people - and spending time with them - more than possessions.

a) True (9)
b) False (0)
c) True - though I could use some more great people to spend time with (6)
d) False - though only because my possessions out number my friends/loved ones (3)


7. It doesn't take a lot to make me smile - in fact, I take pleasure in the little things (like when my favorite song comes on in Starbucks or the first sunny day after a rainy week).

a) Always (9)
b) Sometimes (6)
c) Rarely (3)
d) Never (0)


8. I am often afraid - even if I don't know of what.

a) True (9)
b) False (0)


9. When a good thing happens, I might enjoy it for a moment, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

a) Always (0)
b) Sometimes (3)
c) Rarely (6)
d) Never (9)


10. I've grown a lot throughout my life - especially thanks to the bad times!

a) True (6)
b) False (0)


11. My life has a spiritual side - however I define that.

a) True (6)
b) False (0)


12. There are things in my life I will never get over.

a) True (0)
b) False (6)



SCORING:

0-33 POINTS: Caught in the wheel…Stop a moment and take a deep breath. Whatever situation you've gotten yourself into (and that "situation" may be as simple as the daily grind!), it seems you're letting your life control you rather than you controlling your life. This is no way to live a fulfilled existence - and it's no wonder you're not feeling happy!
Whether you're stuck in the past (like on an ex-lover) or waiting for your life to start (for instance, when you get that promotion), here's the thing: life is happening NOW. And in the now, no one else is responsible for your well-being. Likewise, no situation is beyond your control. In other words, while you don't necessarily create every circumstance you wind up in, you do have ultimate say in your reactions. You can say no, you can move on, you can cultivate a sense of general well-being that includes taking time to savor the world around you as it is right this second! A happy life means caring for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, financially (and, yes, even sexually). Sure, it may sound like a lot… but you can do it. After all, if your answers are any indicator, you're already taking care of everyone and everything else!


34-66 POINTS: Getting by just fine. You could certainly be a lot worse off. But you could also be a lot happier. It's likely, however, that you know this… you just need some work on following through. For instance, you're aware you'd feel better if you spent more time doing that thing you love (yoga, running, painting, crossword, fill in the blank), but you have to find the time to actually do it. That's where you keep getting stuck. It's time to turn that corner. Have faith, take a leap. Let go of the urge to blame and don't feed your insecurities. You're on your way to trumping them - for the most part (remember, no one is perfect!).

In short: a list of things to do for more joy on the fridge is a really great start. Now make it a point to do them all. Even if it's one at a time.


67-99 POINTS: A Happy Place Congratulations happy person! The good news is you're usually living in the moment… or at least working on it. The great news is that means you don't have to focus on being present. Instead, you can work on making the here and now the best it can be!

Some ways to do that:
Cultivate your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Surround yourself with people you value and be sure to treat them well. Practice gratitude and strive to learn when you do make mistakes. Meditate. Eat right. Overindulge every once in a while - and don't beat yourself up for it. Go easy on yourself - and on others.

"Imagine"

Hello Everyone,

Just sending along some inspiration as you begin imagining.....

Have a great weekend,
Krista McKay

"When Nothing is Something"

Thought of the week:

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."
- Og Mandino, 1923-1996, American Motivational Author and Speaker


Hello Everyone,

As I sit in church this morning, my mind began to wonder as to what I will write this week on my blog. For several days I have been considering different topics to write on, yet didn't feel that certainty inside that it was the 'one' for this week. So, as my mind wondered to my writing this morning during the service, a thought popped into my head....it went something like this.....turn on my music and just begin to write and see what lands on the 'paper'. That is now what I am doing. I am writing this blog with no intentional plan or topic, just letting it evolve into what it is meant to be. My favorite classical song is playing right now, and I am thoroughly enjoying this peaceful moment. I am just allowing all the little nudges and thoughts to be transformed onto this 'paper', not knowning how it will turn out.

As I write this piece, I wonder if what I say will seem stupid or ridiculous? Will people like it, or will they absolutely hate it and make jokes about it? I wonder how this will be received? I wonder if this article will still be interesting to my readers even though it was not planned nor intentional? Will people find this one boring, or will my readers be speechless, confused or uncertain what to think? I then ask myself how much of this really matters to me?

When I considered just writing with no intent, I was scared I wouldn't have anything to say, or I wouldn't have anything of value to write, and the content would be useless information because of its' spontaneous orgins. I wondered if this little nudge to just write what comes to my mind would lead to embarrassment, or a sense of freedom and joy.

I am accustomed to speaking and living within structure and planned intention so just expressing myself this way feels unusual, a bit unnerving. To just let my mind go and allow the nudge to express itself. It certainly has given way to a multitude of emotions that I am allowing and enduring as I speak, not yet understanding. I have noticed, however, it is so much easier to give in to this nudge than resist it. I noticed a couple times I fumbled as I was writing because I said to myself, ....."I can't write this, people will think I am right off the wall!" However, I have written it, without any understanding as to why. Maybe someone out there will understand.

In the meantime I made a decision. I listened to my nudge. I could of not listened to the nudge and wrote something on depression, anxiety, or single parenting, as all these topics and more ran through my head. But it may have taken me a lot longer, and the flow I like to enjoy as I write wouldn't of been there. I would of got to the end of my post, but the experience would of been different, so much more of a struggle, taking away from its' pleasure. So, over the past few days as I pondered what to write, my decision to not make a decision was still a decision that I decided today to overrule for my little nudge that came to me this morning.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week as I plan too. :)


Until next time....
Krista McKay